


You Always Liked Spaghetti

by The_Sad_Palace



Category: Fable (Video Games), Fable 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Fable 2 - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sad_Palace/pseuds/The_Sad_Palace
Summary: This is pure fun, semi-edited. If you ever wondered if the Commandant would laugh in the face of someone thinking about water boarding him, this is the place for you! If you need any memes referenced lemme know. Thanks for reading this.... Absolute pure "try to feel better" fuckery.
Relationships: Helix(OC)/The Commandant
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	You Always Liked Spaghetti

**Author's Note:**

> This is just full of silliness and memes. This is just a small part of this chapter but I wanted to post something. It's almost my birthday and with everything going on it's not easy to laugh or be happy. I actually laughed at this dumb shit so I hope you do too. Thanks for reading! Stay safe.

“Thank Avo you all made it safe!” A portly gentleman with a wide brimmed 10 gallon hat and a nice suit walked up to them as Derek and Hammer met him first. He wore a bright businessman smile and a tacky but glimmering gold ‘D’ on his hat. They had just slogged their way into West Cliff with the help of Derek and the Commandant. He kinda liked this guy, he seemed genuine, doofy but kind. 

“Hey, hey.” Derek stated, smiling at him. And if Derek liked him he was likely a decent guy. He flashed a million dollar grin at him, then turned to Blade as he droned, 

“You are?”

“Hello, young man. I’m Doug Dimmadome!” Helix nearly choked, having stayed in the back almost even behind the Commandant. A tiny cough left him as he blinked rapidly. He gripped his shirt near his side and kept himself completely tense. He flinched down when he swore he saw the Commandant glance back and down from out of the corner of his eye. Just. Breathe. Helix. It’s **not** funny. Helix took a shaky breath and exhaled slowly. 

“And…” Blade prompted

“I own the Crucible!” Helix glanced up at the massive, impressive arena. All his sick mind could think was, 

‘THE DIMMSDALE DIMMADOME!’ He wanted to scream. He swallowed down a weak hum to keep his laughter at bay. He side stepped just slightly, glancing at the people he was with. He stepped away again when no one said anything. His mind racing, just get behind a building and laugh your ass off. You can find them later- A massive, chilled hand caught his arm and tugged him up beside the Commandant, still behind Blade, Hammer and Derek. 

He reached over and ruthlessly dug his fingers into the Commandant’s wrist as he jerked. He didn’t know if he hurt him or if he was surprised when Helix grabbed him without a thought. He didn’t shake him off, but he was definitely staring down at him. Avo damn you, I’m going to make a fool of myself! The sensation of someone holding him still and looking at him was making it worse. It felt like he was in a classroom and the teacher was just _staring_ at him. It’s fine! Seriously, it’s so fine, just CHILL. 

“Thank you for finding Derek and the Commandant, they’re both so very important to this entire thing. If I can do anything to repay you for your kindness all you need to do is ask.” Helix whimpered under his breath, leaning on his arm and clutching his wrist and hand now like soap trying to escape his grip. The Commandant was rigid but he wasn’t rejecting him. He probably didn’t understand why Helix was so upset. Likely wondering why the hell he wouldn’t calm down. 

“Come get your hotdog, kids, FIIIIIIVEEEEE-” Deep from within the Dimmadome- HOLY FUCK! Helix flinched again, trying to step away. The Commandant clamped down on his arm, keeping him close. He grasped his pointer finger and yanked. 

“Let go!” Helix whispered, refusing to look up.

“No, stay right here.” He tugged him closer. 

“Commandant!” Helix hissed, his eyes wide as he stared at something passed him. 

“What is wrong?” He asked, watching Helix pull at his fingers. 

“I’m going to make a fool of myself, lemme go!” 

“You have done fine, Helix. Calm down, there is nothing to worry about.” Helix actually shoulder checked him, throwing his weight into him. The Commandant jerked, but let go and wrapped his arm down around his back. Effectively pinning him into his side almost like a hug. Helix began to wiggle, pushing at his chest. This man was so stupid strong. He was about to hiss wildly when, 

“Commandant, are you alright?” Doug asked, as the four looked at them, it was clear everyone but Doug was surprised at their closeness. Considering Helix’s hands were on his side and his chest, and his arm spanned down Helix’s back, it probably looked almost risque. 

“Perfectly well, thank you.” He replied, his calm demeanor soothed Doug right back into his spiel and Derek, Hammer and Blade all seemed a little too confused to think what was happening behind them was real. Helix resumed his inchworm ways. “You are not going anywhere.” He’s trying to be nice! But, it’s making it so much worse. 

“I-”

“Dude, check this out!” Helix’s eyes flicked away from the Commandant’s gaze. He watched a guy hold up a full puffer fish as he gently let it eat a carrot. “They eat carrots!” 

“Cool, dude-” Suddenly the fish gagged and deflated slightly. “Oh no!” Helix snorted, closing his eyes and tensing up. ‘Aeugh…’ He grasped the Commandant’s jacket tightly. ‘Eugh…’ He leaned on him, giggling with only tiny breaths. He jumped as the Commandant slipped his hand down to his side. 

“W-Whatcha doin'-” Just as he whispered that, the Commandant squeezed gently with his massive hand. Helix tucked his head back and squawked like a confused bird. Due to the cocoughany of bullcrap happening, no one heard him. Helix grasped the area between his thumb and pointer and tried to tug his hand away. He clamped down harder on him, wiggling his fingers ruthlessly without looking at him. 

“AHAHA-” Helix bit down his voice as they looked at them again, as Helix stilled, his skin crawling with energy. 

“Is something wrong?” The Commandant asked, his voice completely flat and his body language that typical poised square. Helix even threw in a bright, yet shaky smile. 

“Uh-” Derek started, looking at their extreme closeness with narrow eyes. 

“Oh, of course not!” Doug stated, waving his hand and gaining back everyone’s attention rather quickly. Helix looked up at the Commandant, pointing at him.

“Don’t.” 

“I can not hear you, dear. Speak up.” He squeezed again as Helix jerked, giggling when he wanted to be furious. 

“F-Fine.” Helix hissed, jamming his hand under his jacket even though he felt bad about it and clamped down on his side like a viper. He jolted, almost letting him go and with a sharp look and involuntary,

“HM?” They both snapped back into place with Helix’s shoulder back against his side and both of them facing the inquisitive eyes. He felt that heavy hand lay over his shoulder and tighten just enough to be a threat. Again, they escaped questioning. Helix glanced at the promise of death on his shoulder and then looked up at the Commandant with the sweetest, sharpest smirk he had. 

“Big nerd, can’t take it but you can give it?” 

“Oh?” He hummed, looking down at him. “And if I were to call you a little brat would you cry?” 

“I might, what would you do if I did?” 

“Laugh at your expense.” He replied smoothly, his eyes crinkling just enough to show a smile. “Kidding, I would likely start crying as well.” Helix began cackling loudly as he gently ran his claws over the side of his neck. He spun, punching his side in reflex to the assault. 

“Ow, HECK-” The Commandant began chuckling. 

“How does that feel, unruly little runt?” 

“OH?” Helix huffed, grinning at him as he rubbed his hand. “You wanna fight, you… Big- Butt.” The Commandant’s head tipped just enough, his eyebrows raising. “You think I can’t kick your ass with a two foot height difference and like 150 pounds on me? Huh? Square up!” He chirped brightly. 

“I have far more than 150 pounds on you, Helix.” He glanced over his shoulder, acting like he was looking at his ass. Helix wheezed, rolling his eyes. 

“Listen.” He tried. “You’re… Aeugh...” They both refused to laugh as they stared at each other with wild eyes. Helix smirked and whispered. "Whatcha looking at, n e r d?"

“Ohh, my feelings.” The Commandant stated, sighing softly as he looked at his nails. “You have such a destructive way with words.” 

“You know what, you’re right!” Helix hummed, leaping on him. He planted against him in the tightest hug probably known to man. It would take some serious squirming to escape this tight. 

“I-” He actually looked down at Helix with wide, confused eyes. His hands flew up sort of like an act of ‘I don’t want to hurt you somehow.’ This was going to be gooooood. 

“Aww, you’re _so cute,_ Commandant!” The surprise turned to embarrassment real quick, as he began trying to get away just like Helix had been. 

“W-What are you-” Even a stutter! Aw, he was pretty cute. A blush just pink enough to run across his pale skin arched just over his mask, and his body language was far more tame than any other time he had ever seen him. 

“Oh, you hate everything! And it’s precious!” Helix snickered as the Commandant placed his hand onto his face, gently and slowly pushed him away. He could feel him laughing about this, likely being mugged by some 5’4 boy wasn’t on his normal to-do list. He smacked his hand off, reaching up for him and hopping once. His head tilted again, his breathing elevated just enough. “Come ooooonnnn, gimme a smooch-” Helix made grabby hands at him, as he lost it further, a sharp squeaky,

“Ah!” Followed by choppy, desperately contained laughter.

“Uh, guys?” They both snapped to look at all four of them staring at them. Avo knows how long they had been gawking. They both looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes, as Helix smiled awkwardly. The Commandant stood to full height and brushed his jacket straight. 

“Yes?” He asked, his tone and posture fully returned. 

“You’re really going to act like that didn’t happen?” Derek prodded. 

“Like what happened?” Helix tried not to burst into laughter. 

“Helix.” He looked at Derek with a sweet smile. 

“Yeah?” He looked at him like a disappointed father. He snorted, sucking in his lips. 

“You two are clowns.” Hammer was trying not to laugh herself. 

“As is Derek, and you still enjoy him.” 

“Oh, that’s true.” She hummed, grinning at him.

“Hey!” Derek huffed. 

“Derek is a whole damn circus.” Helix finger gunned.

“Zing, as the kids say.” He and the Commandant high fived without looking. 

“Helix! What the hell!” He cried, opening his hands and shrugging. “You’re meant to be MY friend.” 

“Enough.” Blade groveled, “Stop fucking around.” 

“No.” Everyone looked at Helix. “I don’t think I will.” Blade looked stunned. Hammer began laughing, turning to him with this evil look.

“Ha! Stop being such a killjoy. They’re not doing anything wrong, besides, how often do you get someone YOU get along with.” He looked at her with nothing but disdain. She turned to Doug, smiling. “You were saying, mate?” Doug smiled brilliantly at her. 

“I am very impressed by you, little lady. Come with me, let’s show you some weapons you can win through challenges. There’s a brand new warhammer!” 

“OOOOOO.” She chased him up the steps as Derek scrambled after her like a puppy.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to make this boy slap the Commandant with a literal home made Uno reverse card at some point. I tempt fate, and yet fate will not let Helix or I get our shit kicked in lol.


End file.
